everything marriage blog

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Boredom Can Doom a Marriage

It's the weekend. Are you doing anything fun with your spouse? Researchers at Stony Brook University in New York have been following 123 couples for 16 years. For all of them it was their first marriage and the average age for the women was 24 and 26 for men. At the seven year mark into their marriage, the researchers asked them to rate their level of boredom in their marriage through a series of questions. The resutls showed that greater boredom in year seven predicted significantly less satisfaction at year 16. Saying as much, researcher Irene Tsapelas and colleagues note that their findings suggest excitement promotes closeness, further promoting satisfaction."If partners experience excitement from other sources (such as novel and challenging activities) in a shared context, this shared experience can reignite relationship passion by associating the excitement with the relationship," the researchers write. Sound familiar? If not, listen to podcast Episode 61 with Dr. Karen Sherman. To read the complete article, click here.

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Friday, April 03, 2009

Surviving the Battle of the Netflix Queue

A South Carolina newspaper callled, The State has addressed a very modern point of conflict among today's married crew: the Netflix queue. The battle of the husband moving Braveheart to the top of the queue not knowing that his wife adjusted the queue at the last minute resulting with the husband opening the red envelope stuffed with Pride and Prejudice instead, is raging on. The article offers many scenarios like this, and doesn't mention until the very end of the article that sharing a queue is an unnecessary strain on your marriage. In fact, Netflix subscribers can set up multiple profiles with individual queues so that each can receive the movie they want. My wife and I do that and it works great. The problem, as many couples in the article pointed out, is when the other expresses interest and so you hold off watching, then weeks go by and the movie is still sitting in the sleeve waiting to play. If you have something you want to watch or if you want to watch one of your movies, also try Netflix's Watch Instant feature, which you can watch right on your computer without waiting or even on your TV (third party equipment required). Click here to read the complete article.

We'd love to hear your Netflix stories...do you and your spouse fight over what movie gets played and/or added to the queue?

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Thursday, March 26, 2009

Get Help from a Romance Decorator

Ready to plan the perfect romantic evening, but you're struggling with the details? You know you want Champagne and maybe chocolate strawberries, but then you go blank. That's fine. That's where the help of someone like Mary Chatman comes in. Chatman is the founder of Creations of Love, a romantic decorating company ready to romanticize your place. Creations of Love will supply all the materials and decorate with a variety of items including fresh rose petals trails, aromatherapy candles, chocolate covered strawberries, chocolate truffles and more. Clients can pick the details of what they're looking for and Creations of Love will do the rest and offer a variety of packages. They currently operate in Atlanta, Los Angeles and New York. If you're out of those areas don't worry, they also offer DIY packages. Check out their website (www.creationsofloveinc.com) for more information.

When was the last time you romantically decorated (or had someone decorate) your place?

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Tuesday, February 10, 2009

VDay on the Cheap

Consulting firm Brand Keys found that Americans will spend an average of 15 percent less this Valentine's Day than they did last year. BIGresearch for the National Retail Federation, found that consumers plan to spend an average of $102.50 on Valentine's Day this year, down from $122.98 last year. This article from MSNBC says this is the first dip in spending in eight years. The article says individuals should expect just a card instead of a gift card. The beauty of this drop is that it will help many couples refocus the importance of the holiday to love, not money or gifts. Do you plan on cutting back? Are you going to visit a cheaper restaurant instead of your usual favorite? If you have any cheap ideas, please share.

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VDay on the Cheap

Consulting firm Brand Keys found that Americans will spend an average of 15 percent less this Valentine's Day than they did last year. BIGresearch for the National Retail Federation, found that consumers plan to spend an average of $102.50 on Valentine's Day this year, down from $122.98 last year. This article from MSNBC says this is the first dip in spending in eight years. The article says individuals should expect just a card instead of a gift card. The beauty of this drop is that it will help many couples refocus the importance of the holiday to love, not money or gifts. Do you plan on cutting back? Are you going to visit a cheaper restaurant instead of your usual favorite? If you have any cheap ideas, please share.

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VDay on the Cheap

Consulting firm Brand Keys found that Americans will spend an average of 15 percent less this Valentine's Day than they did last year. BIGresearch for the National Retail Federation, found that consumers plan to spend an average of $102.50 on Valentine's Day this year, down from $122.98 last year. This article from MSNBC says this is the first dip in spending in eight years. The article says individuals should expect just a card instead of a gift card. The beauty of this drop is that it will help many couples refocus the importance of the holiday to love, not money or gifts. Do you plan on cutting back? Are you going to visit a cheaper restaurant instead of your usual favorite? If you have any cheap ideas, please share.

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Monday, February 09, 2009

Best Romantic Comedies

If you're thinking of staying in this Valentine's Day or if you are just looking to find a movie compromise to snuggle up to while the weather continues to chill the outdoors Moviefone has put together a list of the 25 Best Romantic Comedies. Starting the list at No. 25 is "My Best Friend's Wedding" starring Julia Roberts. At No. 20 is "Harold & Maude," No. 15 is "Muriel's Wedding," No. 10 is "Bridget Jones's Diary," and No. 5 is "Pretty Woman" another Julia Roberts flick. We won't give you the rundown of the top 5, but we will hint at No. 1. It's a Meg Ryan film and it's not "Sleepless in Seattle," "You've Got Mail," or "French Kiss." Check out the list and tell what your top 5 list looks like.

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Best Romantic Comedies

If you're thinking of staying in this Valentine's Day or if you are just looking to find a movie compromise to snuggle up to while the weather continues to chill the outdoors Moviefone has put together a list of the 25 Best Romantic Comedies. Starting the list at No. 25 is "My Best Friend's Wedding" starring Julia Roberts. At No. 20 is "Harold & Maude," No. 15 is "Muriel's Wedding," No. 10 is "Bridget Jones's Diary," and No. 5 is "Pretty Woman" another Julia Roberts flick. We won't give you the rundown of the top 5, but we will hint at No. 1. It's a Meg Ryan film and it's not "Sleepless in Seattle," "You've Got Mail," or "French Kiss." Check out the list and tell what your top 5 list looks like.

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Best Romantic Comedies

If you're thinking of staying in this Valentine's Day or if you are just looking to find a movie compromise to snuggle up to while the weather continues to chill the outdoors Moviefone has put together a list of the 25 Best Romantic Comedies. Starting the list at No. 25 is "My Best Friend's Wedding" starring Julia Roberts. At No. 20 is "Harold & Maude," No. 15 is "Muriel's Wedding," No. 10 is "Bridget Jones's Diary," and No. 5 is "Pretty Woman" another Julia Roberts flick. We won't give you the rundown of the top 5, but we will hint at No. 1. It's a Meg Ryan film and it's not "Sleepless in Seattle," "You've Got Mail," or "French Kiss." Check out the list and tell what your top 5 list looks like.

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Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Secret to Happy Marriage: 4 Hugs a Day

A study, which this article from the Telegraph doesn't say from where, says four hugs a day is a key to a happy marriage. The study interviewed 4,000 couples and also found many other secrets. Like the four hugs, many are surprisingly specific. For example, seven evenings in together every month with two proper dinner dates. Another is two romantic walks a month and at least one visit to a pub or cinema without the children or other friends. Other highlights from the study are:

- Husbands should give their wife flowers or another gift at least once a month
- People to spend at least one evening away from their partner a month

What's the secret to your happy marriage?

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Secret to Happy Marriage: 4 Hugs a Day

A study, which this article from the Telegraph doesn't say from where, says four hugs a day is a key to a happy marriage. The study interviewed 4,000 couples and also found many other secrets. Like the four hugs, many are surprisingly specific. For example, seven evenings in together every month with two proper dinner dates. Another is two romantic walks a month and at least one visit to a pub or cinema without the children or other friends. Other highlights from the study are:

- Husbands should give their wife flowers or another gift at least once a month
- People to spend at least one evening away from their partner a month

What's the secret to your happy marriage?

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Secret to Happy Marriage: 4 Hugs a Day

A study, which this article from the Telegraph doesn't say from where, says four hugs a day is a key to a happy marriage. The study interviewed 4,000 couples and also found many other secrets. Like the four hugs, many are surprisingly specific. For example, seven evenings in together every month with two proper dinner dates. Another is two romantic walks a month and at least one visit to a pub or cinema without the children or other friends. Other highlights from the study are:

- Husbands should give their wife flowers or another gift at least once a month
- People to spend at least one evening away from their partner a month

What's the secret to your happy marriage?

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Thursday, August 07, 2008

The Secret to Successful Date Nights

Arthur Aron, a professor of social psychology at the State University of New York at Stony Brook has conducted many tests, brain scans and other real world experiments to come up with the solution to stale date nights. The secret, he says is to inject novelty into the relationship. For example try a new restaurant or something more unusual or thrilling that takes you out of your usual environment and experiences like an amusement park. Here's the reasoning according to the article in the NY Times:
The theory is based on brain science. New experiences activate the brain’s reward system, flooding it with dopamine and norepinephrine. These are the same brain circuits that are ignited in early romantic love, a time of exhilaration and obsessive thoughts about a new partner. (They are also the brain chemicals involved in drug addiction and obsessive-compulsive disorder.)

The results of Aron's study revealed those who had undertaken the “exciting” date nights showed a significantly greater increase in marital satisfaction than the “pleasant” date night group. (This is an older article from NY Times so you'll have to log in--which is free).

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The Secret to Successful Date Nights

Arthur Aron, a professor of social psychology at the State University of New York at Stony Brook has conducted many tests, brain scans and other real world experiments to come up with the solution to stale date nights. The secret, he says is to inject novelty into the relationship. For example try a new restaurant or something more unusual or thrilling that takes you out of your usual environment and experiences like an amusement park. Here's the reasoning according to the article in the NY Times:
The theory is based on brain science. New experiences activate the brain’s reward system, flooding it with dopamine and norepinephrine. These are the same brain circuits that are ignited in early romantic love, a time of exhilaration and obsessive thoughts about a new partner. (They are also the brain chemicals involved in drug addiction and obsessive-compulsive disorder.)

The results of Aron's study revealed those who had undertaken the “exciting” date nights showed a significantly greater increase in marital satisfaction than the “pleasant” date night group. (This is an older article from NY Times so you'll have to log in--which is free).

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The Secret to Successful Date Nights

Arthur Aron, a professor of social psychology at the State University of New York at Stony Brook has conducted many tests, brain scans and other real world experiments to come up with the solution to stale date nights. The secret, he says is to inject novelty into the relationship. For example try a new restaurant or something more unusual or thrilling that takes you out of your usual environment and experiences like an amusement park. Here's the reasoning according to the article in the NY Times:
The theory is based on brain science. New experiences activate the brain’s reward system, flooding it with dopamine and norepinephrine. These are the same brain circuits that are ignited in early romantic love, a time of exhilaration and obsessive thoughts about a new partner. (They are also the brain chemicals involved in drug addiction and obsessive-compulsive disorder.)

The results of Aron's study revealed those who had undertaken the “exciting” date nights showed a significantly greater increase in marital satisfaction than the “pleasant” date night group. (This is an older article from NY Times so you'll have to log in--which is free).

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Monday, May 05, 2008

Summer Movie Calendar

USA Today has released a summer movie calendar that lists all this summer's most anticipated movies starting the month of May. After this past weekend's monster hit, Iron Man, the movie season looks bright. For those looking for summer blockbuster movies for couples, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull comes out May 22nd, Sex and the City: The Movie comes out May 30th, Wall-E comes out June 27th, X-Files: I Want to Believe comes out July 25th, and The Accidental Husband comes out August 22nd. For more details on these movies and others, including links to their sites, synopsis, cast and more, click here.

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Summer Movie Calendar

USA Today has released a summer movie calendar that lists all this summer's most anticipated movies starting the month of May. After this past weekend's monster hit, Iron Man, the movie season looks bright. For those looking for summer blockbuster movies for couples, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull comes out May 22nd, Sex and the City: The Movie comes out May 30th, Wall-E comes out June 27th, X-Files: I Want to Believe comes out July 25th, and The Accidental Husband comes out August 22nd. For more details on these movies and others, including links to their sites, synopsis, cast and more, click here.

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Summer Movie Calendar

USA Today has released a summer movie calendar that lists all this summer's most anticipated movies starting the month of May. After this past weekend's monster hit, Iron Man, the movie season looks bright. For those looking for summer blockbuster movies for couples, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull comes out May 22nd, Sex and the City: The Movie comes out May 30th, Wall-E comes out June 27th, X-Files: I Want to Believe comes out July 25th, and The Accidental Husband comes out August 22nd. For more details on these movies and others, including links to their sites, synopsis, cast and more, click here.

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Monday, April 28, 2008

Date Night Wines

One of our favorite vlogs, WineLibraryTV recently had an episode (451) on date night wines. This episode was targeted toward the pre-married crowd, but we say, why not use these tips to impress your spouse? On the show the host, Gary Vaynerchuk and his special guest, Twanna Hines sampled three different wines, a rose, white and red. One of the big tips from Gary was to break out of your regular box--no, not box wine--you know, the standard Merlot, Chianti, Chardonnay,and try something a little different. For example, they sampled a Barbera d'Asti wine, which is a red Italian wine produced from the Barbera grape variety. To watch the episode, click here.

What's your favorite wine?

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Date Night Wines

One of our favorite vlogs, WineLibraryTV recently had an episode (451) on date night wines. This episode was targeted toward the pre-married crowd, but we say, why not use these tips to impress your spouse? On the show the host, Gary Vaynerchuk and his special guest, Twanna Hines sampled three different wines, a rose, white and red. One of the big tips from Gary was to break out of your regular box--no, not box wine--you know, the standard Merlot, Chianti, Chardonnay,and try something a little different. For example, they sampled a Barbera d'Asti wine, which is a red Italian wine produced from the Barbera grape variety. To watch the episode, click here.

What's your favorite wine?

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Date Night Wines

One of our favorite vlogs, WineLibraryTV recently had an episode (451) on date night wines. This episode was targeted toward the pre-married crowd, but we say, why not use these tips to impress your spouse? On the show the host, Gary Vaynerchuk and his special guest, Twanna Hines sampled three different wines, a rose, white and red. One of the big tips from Gary was to break out of your regular box--no, not box wine--you know, the standard Merlot, Chianti, Chardonnay,and try something a little different. For example, they sampled a Barbera d'Asti wine, which is a red Italian wine produced from the Barbera grape variety. To watch the episode, click here.

What's your favorite wine?

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