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Embracing the Rebellious Part Within: 4 Questions you Need to Ask YourselfBeing a rebel doesn't mean anarchy. It means carving a path that works for you.
Oliver Sjöström
There's more than one way to do things in this life and you must find what works for you.
“ When concepts or ideas don’t complement our values, they’re less likely to work.”
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To go against an established authority; rebellion defined, signals defiance and recklessness. The natural response to chaos is to create compliance, therefore restoring order. There’s an underlying message here; if we follow the rules and act accordingly, we will find peace. This concept of following, I dare say, is a trap.
Peace is embodied when we boldly remove a narrowed lens and observe rebellion from a broader perspective, one where we redefine what it means to resist and clearly identify who has authority. Resistance is an opportunity to question; to say, "let me look at this and see what I think." A study from the University of California at Davis suggests that when curiosity is stimulated, not only does the brain become a sponge for learning, it also engages the brain’s reward system, releasing the feel-good neurotransmitter dopamine.
Taking an active approach to asking questions isn’t about right versus wrong, nor does it require strict adherence to an idea or concept. Only you can determine what is right for you. Here are four questions to start asking yourself.
1. Does this make sense for me? With technology at our fingertips, we have endless access to various resources and expert recommendations. It’s out of habit that we attach a high value to competency, defining worth based on credentials or years of experience. Sometimes, we so desperately want something to work, we avoid or dismiss information that doesn’t fit the mold. Or we follow the crowd on what to do because it worked for them.
Whatever the reason, doesn’t it sound a bit reckless to simply take the information without further investigation? We need to be asking ourselves, how could this make sense for my situation? Is the expert advice a good match for me? Am I comfortable with the how-to or am I forcing an outcome?
2. Is this working? Adaptation is a great skill, but what happens when we take it to the extreme? This is a square peg, round hole situation, where we make continued attempts to change something within ourselves, then when we don’t get the desired outcome, we conclude that somehow, we’re flawed. What am I doing wrong? Why is this still not working?
When we seek to find reasons as to why something isn’t working, take a look at the evidence directly in front of you. What about it isn’t working? How many times have you attempted to make this work? Why are you trying so hard to make it work? Get curious and let the information guide you to the next right action. It’s time to reclaim your power and release the automatic response that something must be wrong with you.
3. Is this a good match to my values? Values are constructs by which our behaviors flow. When used effectively, our actions become a representation of our values. It’s not enough to simply write them down, you need to get really clear on what they mean to you. When you take time to truly define and connect with your values, your actions radiate your authenticity giving others the opportunity to embrace the real you.
When concepts or ideas don’t complement our values, they’re less likely to work. Change has better odds when we align with our integrity and trust our inner knowing. Remember, not everything will be a match for you and that’s completely okay.
4. Where did this idea come from? Our experiences not only shape the way we observe the world, we also inherit ideas from generations before us. Because these beliefs have been imprinted from a young age, we often accept them as truth. "Here, think about it this way," or "do it this way," and in response, we barely question them. Why would we? It’s what we know, and it’s been the pattern of operating longer than we’ve existed.
Bigger messages are easier to tackle. It’s the subtle ones that get a bit tricky. It’s time to reflect on those moments when you catch yourself saying something like, "I sound just like my Dad," or "They expect me to do this." Take pause and question the origin. Where did I hear this? How long has this idea been around? Do I agree with it?
It’s time to break out of the box, no longer looking to others to validate your every action, and instead connect to your inner authority. So, take what resonates and leave the rest.
Christina Trujillo Sieren, is an author, speaker, and mom of two. Christina is a licensed psychotherapist with a private practice specializing in high-risk adolescents and families. She is the Founder and Lead Coach of Unapparent Parenting, INC., where she provides coaching to parents of teens. Christina supports parents to question mainstream parenting concepts and embrace the messiest of moments, daring parents to re-define their most authentic parenting blueprint from the inside out. Christina is the author of "Parenting Teen Girls: A Positive Parenting Approach to Raising Health, Independent Daughters". For more information and to connect with Christina, visit www.christinasieren.com.
Peace is embodied when we boldly remove a narrowed lens and observe rebellion from a broader perspective, one where we redefine what it means to resist and clearly identify who has authority. Resistance is an opportunity to question; to say, "let me look at this and see what I think." A study from the University of California at Davis suggests that when curiosity is stimulated, not only does the brain become a sponge for learning, it also engages the brain’s reward system, releasing the feel-good neurotransmitter dopamine.
Taking an active approach to asking questions isn’t about right versus wrong, nor does it require strict adherence to an idea or concept. Only you can determine what is right for you. Here are four questions to start asking yourself.
1. Does this make sense for me? With technology at our fingertips, we have endless access to various resources and expert recommendations. It’s out of habit that we attach a high value to competency, defining worth based on credentials or years of experience. Sometimes, we so desperately want something to work, we avoid or dismiss information that doesn’t fit the mold. Or we follow the crowd on what to do because it worked for them.
Whatever the reason, doesn’t it sound a bit reckless to simply take the information without further investigation? We need to be asking ourselves, how could this make sense for my situation? Is the expert advice a good match for me? Am I comfortable with the how-to or am I forcing an outcome?
2. Is this working? Adaptation is a great skill, but what happens when we take it to the extreme? This is a square peg, round hole situation, where we make continued attempts to change something within ourselves, then when we don’t get the desired outcome, we conclude that somehow, we’re flawed. What am I doing wrong? Why is this still not working?
When we seek to find reasons as to why something isn’t working, take a look at the evidence directly in front of you. What about it isn’t working? How many times have you attempted to make this work? Why are you trying so hard to make it work? Get curious and let the information guide you to the next right action. It’s time to reclaim your power and release the automatic response that something must be wrong with you.
3. Is this a good match to my values? Values are constructs by which our behaviors flow. When used effectively, our actions become a representation of our values. It’s not enough to simply write them down, you need to get really clear on what they mean to you. When you take time to truly define and connect with your values, your actions radiate your authenticity giving others the opportunity to embrace the real you.
When concepts or ideas don’t complement our values, they’re less likely to work. Change has better odds when we align with our integrity and trust our inner knowing. Remember, not everything will be a match for you and that’s completely okay.
4. Where did this idea come from? Our experiences not only shape the way we observe the world, we also inherit ideas from generations before us. Because these beliefs have been imprinted from a young age, we often accept them as truth. "Here, think about it this way," or "do it this way," and in response, we barely question them. Why would we? It’s what we know, and it’s been the pattern of operating longer than we’ve existed.
Bigger messages are easier to tackle. It’s the subtle ones that get a bit tricky. It’s time to reflect on those moments when you catch yourself saying something like, "I sound just like my Dad," or "They expect me to do this." Take pause and question the origin. Where did I hear this? How long has this idea been around? Do I agree with it?
It’s time to break out of the box, no longer looking to others to validate your every action, and instead connect to your inner authority. So, take what resonates and leave the rest.
Christina Trujillo Sieren, is an author, speaker, and mom of two. Christina is a licensed psychotherapist with a private practice specializing in high-risk adolescents and families. She is the Founder and Lead Coach of Unapparent Parenting, INC., where she provides coaching to parents of teens. Christina supports parents to question mainstream parenting concepts and embrace the messiest of moments, daring parents to re-define their most authentic parenting blueprint from the inside out. Christina is the author of "Parenting Teen Girls: A Positive Parenting Approach to Raising Health, Independent Daughters". For more information and to connect with Christina, visit www.christinasieren.com.
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