What Men Donít Know Making intentional choices about your marriage will open up new possibilities for your happiness. BY JEFF FORTE
What men don't know can be resolved with how they approach their relationship.
“ This isnít something that most men will ever figure out. They need to be taught.”
Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot. Nothing is going to get better. Itís not. ~ Dr. Seuss
You already know that men and women often see things very differently. There are some real differences between the roles that men and women have in sustaining couple communication, trust and intimacy.
This isnít something that most men will ever figure out. They need to be taught. You might even show him this article.
If youíre waiting and hoping for your man to understand you better, youíre wasting your time. That isnít going to happen unless he talks with someone who "gets it." That isnít necessarily easy because some of the answers to relationship success are counter-intuitive for men.
His idea of what you need and want is based on his parental relationship role models.
The same of course is true for you. And unfortunately for most of us, what we experienced from our relationship role models wasnít lives of shared affection and joy.
While women tend to be better naturally at cultivating relationships, men are a little more unaware. Itís this lack of understanding by both partners that causes relationships to unravel.
What both partners need to know is that they have different rules for feeling loved and valued. However, the real challenge come when couples "fall out" of love.
Our unmet expectations can cause bitterness and resentment that can be destructive to our feelings of being "in love" with your spouse. As you already know, "being in love," is not the same as loving your partner.
The feelings of being Ďin loveí with each other add the magical elements of aliveness and excitement into our lives. Without that, itís just a friendship that brings disappointment.
Will your marriage ever get any better if you donít do something about it?
There are some clear choices:
* You can settle for less because you donít know what to do. * You can get used to being unhappy. * You can educate yourself on how to improve your love-life. * You can seek out expert guidance to help you and your partner.
These are all just choices.
Take this mirror test. Look yourself in the eyes and ask:
* Does my marriage fill me with joy? * Does my marriage make me feel better about myself? * If things stay this way, will I feel proud, or disappointed? * And will I accept living my life this way?
Some people have conditioned themselves to be ok with disappointment. Thatís not a decision that will ever allow you to feel good about yourself.
* If I donít feel good about me, how will I ever be happy? * And if I donít feel good about me, how will I ever find peace?
Thereís far more at stake in being together as a couple than people realize. Our emotional and physical health are being impacted by our relationship happiness, or our increased stress levels. When you give your relationship the attention it deserves, everything about your life can start to get better.
Jeff Forte is an expert in Relationship Dynamics, Divorce Prevention and Marriage Repair, and the author of "The 90-Minute Marriage Miracle," where you can find immediately helpful ideas that will work to quickly to increase connection. He has the expertise to help couples resolve their marriage conflicts even when traditional couples counseling has failed. For a complimentary consultation to get his insights on your situation visit www.90minutemarriagemiracle.com or email email@example.com.