Creating Magic in Your Marriage 2017 Before you can make permanent changes to your marriage you need to understand a few things about it. These 5 steps will help. BY JEFF FORTE
In order to get closer to your spouse you need to understand them better.
“ Improving a marriage is easy when you are already happy together. Making changes when you have lots of communication problems or are feeling neglected is harder.”
Your name is being called, itís 2017 and it's reaching out to you. It wants to know, what changes you are going to make in your marriage.
Will you be happier and more in love one year from now?
For those committed to making their marriages better, here are five steps you can take to help you get that done.
1. Determine how you want your marriage of 2017 to be different than 2016. What specific things in your marriage have to change? What absolutely has to be different about your love life in this coming year?
For example: * Do you want better communication? * Do you want to feel more passion? * Would you like more peace, and less conflicts? * Did you have the intimacy you wanted in 2016? * Do you want to be able to trust your partner more? * Is there anything missing now that makes you feel unfulfilled?
2. What are you willing to do to make these changes happen? Donít look to your husband or wife to make these changes. Look to yourself first. You can always show this article to your spouse after you have determined the areas you want to change.
And in any conversation with them, only talk about your commitment to doing your part. Do not ask them to commit to anything or even do anything. Simply ask if they will support your efforts.
Why? Because the moment you ask them to do something they will become defensive. That is to be avoided.
Next, get their opinion on areas that they would like to see improved. Do this without questioning, or arguing, or even giving input about it. Simply accept whatever they say and thank them.
3. How will the things you both want happen?
* Youíll need a plan. * Youíll need answers you donít have today. * You might need help or support from a third party. * There may be new things youíll need to learn. ** It would also be helpful to know what mistakes you are both making unintentionally. * You will need perspective, so you donít get caught up in the emotional roller coaster that might appear from time to time.
4. How high is your motivation for change? Are you 100% committed to having a better marriage? Are you willing to do your part? Are you willing to accept that at times it will seem like you are doing more than they are?
This is just reality. There are often times when one partner feels like they are doing more than their share.
Are you willing to take full responsibility only for your role in repairing the marriage?
These are some of the practical considerations for people who want to fix their marriage on their own.
5. Do you really understand what your spouse needs from you? One of the big reasons couples struggle is because they donít understand what they need from each other.
Do you know what your spouse needs the most from you? If not, how will you figure that out? And how will they learn what you need more than anything from them.
Improving a marriage is easy when you are already happy together. Making changes when you have lots of communication problems or are feeling neglected is harder. If there are trust issues or resentments it might seem impossible at times.
In order to have a happier marriage in 2017 you will want to focus only on your priorities. You will need to be willing to let some of the smaller issues go.
It is a mistake to go issue by issue with your version and their version, and make any real progress. That often leads to more dysfunction.
The focus thatís needed is not always easy. The other truth you will need to admit is whether you can really do it on your own or not. Sometimes itís just wishful thinking and people stay stuck.
Wishing you a love filled and Happy New Year!
Jeff Forte is an expert in Relationship Dynamics, Divorce Prevention and Marriage Repair, and the author of "The 90-Minute Marriage Miracle," where you can find immediately helpful ideas that will work to quickly to increase connection. He has the expertise to help couples resolve their marriage conflicts even when traditional couples counseling has failed. For a complimentary consultation to get his insights on your situation visit www.90minutemarriagemiracle.com or email firstname.lastname@example.org.