Love and Marriage
Before infidelity strikes, take preventative measures
While infidelity runs rampant in our society, with about half of all marriages dealing with it directly, you can avoid the likelihood of it ever happening. “It takes meeting several emotional needs at once,” says Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr., author of several books on the subject and founder of marriage counseling center, Marriage Builders. When most reveal that sex isn’t what drives the affair Harley agrees it’s absolutely true, citing the lack of a romantic relationship causing many to seek others to fulfill their emotional needs.
“There are really four emotional needs that are primarily romantic: affection, intimate conversation, recreational companionship and sexual fulfillment,” says Harley. “If you have a romantic relationship in your own marriage, an affair is much easier to resist.”
If you suspect your spouse might be doing something unsavory, Harley feels you have every right to investigate, whether by installing tracking software on the computer or even hiring a private investigator. If anything is found, Harley advises saving the evidence for the confrontation. “A husband and wife should be so transparent that any effort on the part of one to look at what the other is doing should never be considered off limits,” says Harley.
--April Y. Pennington