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How to Agree On a Vacation DestinationUnderstanding your spouse’s point of view can lead to a healthy agreement on where to vacation. Here's how to get there.
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Agreeing on where to vacation can be as simple as understanding why someone chooses to vacation at a place.
“ The more he explains his point of view, the more I’m actually warming up to the idea. And the more I explain my point of view, the more he’s warming up to my idea…”
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When it comes to traveling, my husband and I are complete opposites. I’m a homebody and he’s Mr. Adventure—always on the go and likes to travel to different countries. This can cause issues, or even arguments, when we are trying to plan a vacation destination that will suite both of our needs.
What to do? Something many couples may not even think to consider.
First, you must analyze yourself and discover why you feel the way you do. Second, you must share your thoughts and feelings with your spouse. And lastly, understand your spouse’s point of view the best you can and come to an agreement.
When I ask myself, "Why do I like to stick close to home?"—and I really think about it—it makes perfect sense and is no surprise.
I lost my family very young and was raised by my grandmother. As a child, I was extremely close to her and had great separation anxiety when I was away from her. Even spending one night away at a friend's house caused issues and sometimes she would have to come pick me up in the middle of the night. I preferred being in my comfort zone of familiar surroundings where I felt safe and secure.
As I grew a bit older, spending the night at a friend's house was no longer an issue because their homes, too, became a part of my comfort zones and I felt secure there.
But, when it was time for college, just the thought of attending a large campus away from home was a cause of anxiety; and I opted for a very small community college close to home, instead. Add in the fact my mother is a missing person and my father was killed in an accident, and knowing how easily bad things can happen, it is no surprise that I've always been a homebody. It all just makes sense and, for me and my history, is "normal."
Don't get me wrong. At 38 years old, I'm no shut-in by any means. I'd just prefer to do a "day trip" or maybe a weekend trip to somewhere that's not too far from home rather than flying away for a week or two to another country.
Understanding One Another’s Point of View
What fueled our vacation planning discussion between my husband and I started when we’d been given the opportunity to use a time-share once a year.
My husband's point of view is this: "We can go anywhere in the world. Why would I want to waste that opportunity and stay somewhere in the same state that we live in? We can do that any time."
Valid point.
And you know what? The more he explains his point of view, the more I am actually warming up to the idea. And the more I explain my point of view, the more he is warming up to my idea of doing something close to home—even day or weekend trips, too.
Over the past few years, we've not vacationed because we simply couldn't agree on where we would go. So, we just didn't go… period.
Now, I'm starting to get excited about taking a trip. Why waste something that is a great opportunity? I've always loved Egyptian history and architecture. Egypt… Paris… maybe Italy?
I am learning to release my former fears and anxiety and am allowing myself to embrace my creative and spontaneous side. What wonderful pictures I would be able to take if we went to Egypt! How many writing ideas would I come up with in Paris?
In turn, my husband is also realizing we can have a wonderful "mini-vacation" at a local resort an hour from home.
End result? We're going to be doing both.
Misty Lynn Walker had endured a lifetime of tragedy by the time she was five years old. A missing person's case, a horrible car accident, and a losing battle with leukemia had taken her Mother, Father, and only sister in two year intervals. After marrying her high school sweetheart in 1991, making a family of her own, doing a stint of stand-up comedy, and writing a book (non-fiction) "Little Misty: My Big Red Button," she shares her thoughts and life experiences. For more about Misty, visit "Misty’s Big Red Button".
What to do? Something many couples may not even think to consider.
First, you must analyze yourself and discover why you feel the way you do. Second, you must share your thoughts and feelings with your spouse. And lastly, understand your spouse’s point of view the best you can and come to an agreement.
When I ask myself, "Why do I like to stick close to home?"—and I really think about it—it makes perfect sense and is no surprise.
I lost my family very young and was raised by my grandmother. As a child, I was extremely close to her and had great separation anxiety when I was away from her. Even spending one night away at a friend's house caused issues and sometimes she would have to come pick me up in the middle of the night. I preferred being in my comfort zone of familiar surroundings where I felt safe and secure.
As I grew a bit older, spending the night at a friend's house was no longer an issue because their homes, too, became a part of my comfort zones and I felt secure there.
But, when it was time for college, just the thought of attending a large campus away from home was a cause of anxiety; and I opted for a very small community college close to home, instead. Add in the fact my mother is a missing person and my father was killed in an accident, and knowing how easily bad things can happen, it is no surprise that I've always been a homebody. It all just makes sense and, for me and my history, is "normal."
Don't get me wrong. At 38 years old, I'm no shut-in by any means. I'd just prefer to do a "day trip" or maybe a weekend trip to somewhere that's not too far from home rather than flying away for a week or two to another country.
Understanding One Another’s Point of View
What fueled our vacation planning discussion between my husband and I started when we’d been given the opportunity to use a time-share once a year.
My husband's point of view is this: "We can go anywhere in the world. Why would I want to waste that opportunity and stay somewhere in the same state that we live in? We can do that any time."
Valid point.
And you know what? The more he explains his point of view, the more I am actually warming up to the idea. And the more I explain my point of view, the more he is warming up to my idea of doing something close to home—even day or weekend trips, too.
Over the past few years, we've not vacationed because we simply couldn't agree on where we would go. So, we just didn't go… period.
Now, I'm starting to get excited about taking a trip. Why waste something that is a great opportunity? I've always loved Egyptian history and architecture. Egypt… Paris… maybe Italy?
I am learning to release my former fears and anxiety and am allowing myself to embrace my creative and spontaneous side. What wonderful pictures I would be able to take if we went to Egypt! How many writing ideas would I come up with in Paris?
In turn, my husband is also realizing we can have a wonderful "mini-vacation" at a local resort an hour from home.
End result? We're going to be doing both.
Misty Lynn Walker had endured a lifetime of tragedy by the time she was five years old. A missing person's case, a horrible car accident, and a losing battle with leukemia had taken her Mother, Father, and only sister in two year intervals. After marrying her high school sweetheart in 1991, making a family of her own, doing a stint of stand-up comedy, and writing a book (non-fiction) "Little Misty: My Big Red Button," she shares her thoughts and life experiences. For more about Misty, visit "Misty’s Big Red Button".
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