1. Snail mail or e-mail your itenerary to the host in advance. Include your flight schedule, arrival and departure times and city that you will be transferring planes. Whether you are traveling by bus, train or air, don’t assume that the host will be able to pick you up, unless they offer. Be prepared to take a taxi to get to your hosts’ home.

2. Arrive with a hostess gift in your suitcase or pick something up on the way to their home. Do some sleuthing in advance of your visit. Ask the host questions and find out their interest or hobbies. If they collect teacups, a nice basket of tea, decorative napkins and a beautiful teacup would be thoughtful. If they love to bake, a small cookie platter or basket of cookies sent in advance would be appreciated. And of course, be prepared to take your host family out for a nice meal, or two, or three, depending on your length of stay.

3. Don’t expect constant entertainment. Plan for "down time," for yourself and your host family. Investigate points of interest and activities that your family can do on your own. They will appreciate the break and welcome the alone time.

4. Be respectful of their home. Don’t take long, steamy showers, or tie up the bathroom for hours when you know that there are others waiting to get dressed. Keep in mind that you are staying in someone’s home, not a luxury hotel. Pick up towels off the floor, make your own bed and offer to help out with the cooking and cleaning.

5. Pitch in with the other household chores. If the host makes dinner, clear the table and do the dishes—even though they may say they don’t need help—trust me, they will appreciate it.

6. Don’t complain about the host family's barking dogs or interruption of your personal privacy. If you expected constant peace and quiet, plus hotel privacy, you should have stayed at one.

7. Do as your host does. If the host is a "meat and potatoes" kind of family, don’t insist that they offer a lighter alternative for you. If they are early risers, make an effort to be an early riser, also. If they have scheduled daily activities, don’t insist that they rearrange their schedule to hit the spots you were interested in visiting. Better still—rent your own car!

8. Don’t say it. It is always best to avoid hot topics, such as politics, religion, morality or financial issues. So, what will you talk about at the dinner table? Any type of neutral subject or positive piece you read about in the newspaper this morning.

9. Keep rack of your own child(ren). There is nothing worse than a visiting child that is undisciplined, unruly, wreaking havoc on the furniture and breaking the family antiques. Go over common courtesies and basic rules of behavior with your child before arriving at your host family's home. Discuss consequences for poor behavior and then follow through. Don’t expect your host or their teen to baby-sit your child. If their teen does offer, pay them as you would any other babysitter.

10. Don’t over stay your welcome. Stay exactly as long as originally planned. If you aren’t able to do all of the things that you wanted to, don’t "tack on" an extra few days to your visit. Do you recall the old adage, "House guests are like fish, after three days they start to smell!" Take heed.

11. Home sweet home. Write a "thank you" note within 48 hours of your return home. Include specifics that you enjoyed about your visit. And, whatever you do, don’t mention in this letter that you are considering a return visit in the Fall!

Diane Gottsman, a nationally recognized etiquette expert, is the owner of The Protocol School of Texas, a company specializing in etiquette training for corporations, universities and individuals, striving to polish their interpersonal skills. You can reach Diane at 877-490-1077 or www.protocolschooloftexas.com.