Could Dance Be the New Couple’s Therapy?
Get out on the floor and see how dancing can create better communication and intimacy between you and your spouse.
BY PATTY BRISBEN
"Dancing with the Stars" proves that America has fallen in love with the romance of dance. The energy, the passion, and the overall sexiness that these TV couples share with each other got me thinking, is there a lesson here that can be applied to our own relationships?
In any long-term relationship, it’s important to keep it fresh and exciting by discovering activities of interest and ways to bond with your partner. Dancing exercises the body and mind and can help you get in touch with your sexy side—both on a personal level and as a couple. Whether it’s salsa, tango, or waltz, dancing is a great activity for couples looking to improve (or even create) intimacy.
Let’s use ballroom dancing as an example, as it happens to be my favorite form of dance. Ballroom dancing is the act of two people moving in harmony to a rhythm. Just like with sex, if you can't find the rhythm it just feels off. Dancing requires that one person assume the dominant role and forces the follower to trust in his/her partner. Yet without mutual cooperation and teamwork, the dance will still lack cohesiveness.
Every couple has their own dynamic, but don't think for a second that it's a secret between only you and your partner. Body language is the biggest indicator of your relationship—how you hold yourself, your physical proximity and your verbal communication all signal how you're feeling or what kind of day you're having.
Whether a couple is newlywed or has been married for decades, dance can create a positive change in confidence, communication and intimacy between partners. It’s like couple’s therapy, but far more fun! Even if you or your partner lack coordination to master the art of dance at first, just remember it’s a work in process (like your relationship) and enjoy the laughs that come with the journey. Learning to laugh at imperfect situations is a key part of any successful marriage.
Plus, by increasing your endurance, discovering a new sense of sensuality and the surge of post-exercise endorphins you’ll likely experience, the fruit of your labor will likely be seen on the dance floor and in the bedroom. It’s all about building stamina!
Dance forces couples to rely on nonverbal communication to tell a story together. One particular exercise that helps build a mutual understanding between partners is a role reversal class. During this time, the class is instructed to write down what they expect of their partners’ dancing, and then they switch roles with the women leading and the men following. As you can imagine, both parties discover that it's not as easy as it seems. After, they switch back and often find they have the best dance ever.
I know putting yourself in someone else’s shoes is easier said than done, but knowing what it's like to actually do it is a skill that can easily translate into your professional life and personal relationships.
Dancing will improve your overall well-being, better your posture, strengthen your eye contact, and most importantly, boost intimacy between you and your spouse and enhance passion in the bedroom. No matter what stage a relationship is at, isn't that something we all deserve? Any good couple’s therapist, or good dance instructor for that matter, would say yes!
Patty Brisben is a sex expert and the founder of Pure Romance. She is a highly noted and frequently-called-upon expert in the fields of women's intimacy and relationships, as well sexual health education and awareness. Read more from her blog at pattybrisben.wordpress.com
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