The Holiday Shuffle

couplehood chronicles

The Holiday Shuffle
How to please the family and still have time for yourselves during the holidays.
BY CHET MCDONIEL

Chet McDoniel
Chet McDoniel and his happy family.

With the holidays quickly approaching, I want to offer some survival tips that have helped us get through this ubiquitous season. So often, the desire in our family is to try and please all of our relatives, as this is a "special time of the year." However, we just can’t be in multiple places at once. So, here are some tips on how to deal with sticky situations when it comes to family and the holiday season.

* Get a Routine: My family set up a schedule with my oldest brother when he got married that has worked for my sister and for me. Each odd-numbered year (like 2007), we spend Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas is spent with in-laws. On even- numbered years (like 2008), we switch so that Thanksgiving is spent with in-laws and Christmas is spent with my family. Now, fortunately, my siblings and I each married into a family where this rotation worked very well with traditions already in place with our spouses’ families. Maybe this exact scenario wouldn’t be perfect for you, but you can still come up with a plan variation that can work for you.

* Choose a Non-Traditional Holiday to Meet On: I have heard of some families choosing a "non-traditional" holiday to meet together and celebrate. Some have chosen Labor Day or Memorial Day because of the extra day off from work and school, and those families forgo the traditional holiday season due to cost of travel, etc. This is a great way to still meet together each year without having many of the hassles that come with the holiday season. Some of my wife’s family gathers at a camp each year on Easter weekend. That gathering is one that we both look forward to each year, and it doesn’t interfere with other holiday plans.

* Make Your On Tradition: While I am a firm believer in spending time with family, as the years go by and children start to come along, you’ll want to start making your own traditions for the holiday season. Especially once you start having kids, I recommend setting aside a morning, evening or entire day around the holiday season that is only for your spouse and your kids. Maybe Christmas Eve would be a good time for your immediate family to spend time together or maybe you could have a tradition where you drive around to see Christmas lights in your neighborhood. It doesn’t have to be a traditional holiday tradition, I recommend you make it your own! The important thing is spending time together.

While the holidays can be crazy with last minute shopping and the expensive costs involved with traveling, you can’t beat family time together. And yes, let’s be honest, some family members drive you crazy, but that’s why the holidays are the best way to visit. Once the holiday is over, you have a reason to go home! (And, just for the record… because I know they read this column, I love my family AND my in-laws!)

Chet McDoniel ( www.chetmcdoniel.com) is an inspirational speaker and author who was born with no arms and shortened legs. He, his wife, Joni and daughter, Hannah, live in the Dallas/Fort Worth area where they own Off to Neverland Travel ( www.offtoneverland.com) specializing in Disney Vacations.

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