Dealing With Trauma in the Mouth of a Lion
A former nun offers 4 tips on how she dealt with the trauma of a mountain lion attacking her daughter.
Wouldnít it be great if our most difficult days came with Hollywood-happy endings?
In the movies, when faced with the worst possible situations, our heroes rise to the occasion and find strength they never knew they had. But those who experience real-life traumas are just as likely to end up questioning their faith in God, their family and themselves.
In 1986, while my husband, two children and I were hiking in Casperís Wilderness Park in Orange County, California, a mountain lion grabbed my 5-year-old daughter, Laura, and disappeared. By the time she was found and rescued, Laura had been severely mauled. She survived, but lost the use of her right hand and the vision in one eye. She had severe brain injuries, and her life hung in the balance for weeks.
Even those who seem equipped to handle the worstóbecause of their religious beliefs or strong family and community connectionsócan find themselves questioning everything. There certainly are difficult lessons to learn when your life is suddenly turned upside down.
As a former nun, I struggled with guilt, anger, stress and frustration as I fought to help my daughter recoveróand to hold the county accountable when I learned the staff knew there were mountain lions in the park but hadnít warned visitors.
The scars, both physical and emotional, may never completely heal. And it can take years to find "meaning" from it all. In the decade after the attack, I lost my religious faith, but came out of the experience with a new kind of happiness and fulfillment.
Here are some tips for those battling to come back after a life-changing trauma:
Have faith in yourself. If you donít believe in a higher power, or if you lose your religious faith, you can find your own meaning in life. It was very difficult to give up my beliefs, but instead of a vast emptiness where God used to be, there is caring, love and friendship.
Have more than one focus. My primary goal was helping my daughter get well, but we also spent years battling Orange County in court. The trial took up so much of our life, and that was a good thing in many ways. It gave us another purpose.
If you canít find courage within yourself, look to those you love. Decades after her daughterís attack, Iím still is in awe of my friends; my husband, Don; and my daughterís rescuers, doctors and legal team. I draw the most strength from Laura, who isnít bitter and lives an independent and fulfilling life.
Donít expect to draw lessons from the experience right away. You may need to wait for the lessons to become apparent. It will take time and painful reflection, but itís worth it. It would be so depressing to go through all of this, only to learn nothing and have done nothing. I realized, after years of searching that the meaning of life was right in front of meóin my family, and the love I shared with family and friends.
After Laura grew into a young woman we were looking at a book that posed the question: If you could change one day in your life, which day would it be? I thought the choice was obvious. Laura disagreed.
That day changed all of us. "I know," she told me. "But I wouldnít have become the person I am today, and we wouldnít have cared for each other as much as we do, or have such a wonderful family."
No, I would leave that day just like it was.
Susan Mattern, author of ďOut of the Lionís DenĒ (www.outofthelionsden.net), grew up in St. Louis, Missouri, and was a nun for six years before moving to California, where she met and married her husband, Don. They have two children, David and Laura. In 1986, Laura was attacked by a mountain lion in an Orange County park, and the family spent years helping her recover and fighting the county in court.