Sex
insight
Make Your Spouse Your Everyday Valentine
As a gift to your marriage, learn to express your love this Valentine’s Day and make a pact to celebrate throughout the year!

Expressing your love to your spouse is very important if you want to have a happy marriage. Being in love has its peaks and valleys. More often than not, even in the valley love still resides. Learning how to do this—among the mixed messages, badlands and even betrayal—is where expressing your love can be a challenge. If you consider your spouse as your real "significant" other, go ahead and let the good times roll in your expression of love. The bottom line is you are not perfect and neither is your spouse, but they are "significant" to you… aren’t they?

If your spouse is not expressing love in ways that are meaningful to you, you owe it to yourself and your spouse to tell them what you want. You cannot be happy in a relationship if you complain and point the finger all the time, but fail to communicate what your needs and wants are.

Ladies, if you want your husband to draw you a bath, don’t say to him, "You never draw me a bath" since the one word that he will hear is, never. The best way to communicate the fact that you want him to draw a bath for you is to ask, "Honey will you draw a bath for me?" If you want quality time with your husband and a minute of his iPhone-free time instead of gifts, then let him know.

Gentlemen, if you want your wife to stop coming to bed with rollers in her hair or with full-length pajamas on, tell her… or better yet show her what you’d like to see her wear to bed, even if it’s her birthday suit. You don’t have to wait for a special occasion to purchase lingerie. Be sure to communicate what you’d like to see with love so it’s well received.

We are born to love and sometimes we crave whatever signs of love we're not getting, and take for granted the ones we do receive. The feeling of elation that we call romantic love is deeply embedded in our brains. For example, Valentine’s Day is one day a year and perhaps the most celebrated romantic day of the year. Sexy lingerie, flowers, chocolates, a romantic dinner, all things romantic will be on the hearts and minds of men and women across the country. Your Valentine really should be in your heart daily. Celebrate your love for each other seven days a week, 365 days a year! Create time for romance and interject that passion into your daily lives. Provide a simples soft answer like, "Let me get that for you, Honey." It's a kind gesture. Or express a sincere compliment such as, “Baby you sure look good this morning,” as your honey heads out the door for work.

Make a pack with your mate for Valentine’s Day this year. Agree to do something fun every week. Even if it’s something simple like taking a bath together with candles around the tub. Take a walk holding hands or play a fun game. Watch a comedy movie together and be sure to laugh out loud. If you can, take a weekend break away from home and the kids. Be sure to pack something sexy and a surprise gift for your sweetheart. It won’t matter what it is because it’s the surprise and thought that matters most. Don’t let your marriage sink into despair without making an effort to keep it strong. A strong marriage includes things like faith, respect, kind communication, romance, great sex, and infusing fun into your daily, weekly and monthly routines.

Mary Chatman is a romantic decorating specialist and founder of Love Life Designs, LLC, a romantic decorating and design firm facilitating Atlanta, Los Angeles and New York City. Mary is also a romance and marriage advocate. She has been featured on CBS Better Mornings, Good Day Atlanta, and Every Day with Marcus and Lisa. Mary is also a relationship and romance writer for blackbride.com. For more information about Love Life Designs, LLC or to add romance to your abode, visit www.lovelifedesignsllc.com .


Copyright © 2011 Hitched Media, Inc. All rights reserved.