Prepare to be Surprised by Sex Does too much prep time take the spark out of sex? BY MACHELLE M. SEIBEL, MD
Before you attempt to make contact, be sure to have everything in place.
Sexual spontaneity keeps things interesting, keeps things hot and makes every moment an exciting expectation about what will happen next. Doing the dishes, for example, can be a dance of seduction if you have the element of spontaneity built into the fabric of your relationship. This sounds like a scene that only happens in the movies, doesn't it?
So, can you plan for spontaneity? Rather, can you plan ahead to make sure that when the mood strikes suddenly, the elements of great sex are at your fingertips and not stuffed in a glove compartment or in the bottom of the medicine cabinet, hidden behind an expired bottle of aspirin and a box of q-tips? The answer is yes. Plan ahead and make the prep time for sex so low that it's basically a seamless transition from a decision to an event.
As a married couple, there is no reason not to treat your bedroom like a shameless bachelor pad with all the things you will need laid out ahead of time. It's important that your sex-related items are in places that are easy to reach and well-stocked. Heck, why stop at just the bedroom? A little surprise package behind the spice rack you may just yet fulfill that dishwashing fantasy.
Ready For Love at Any Time
There have been some stunning advancements in lube technology over the years, which you may not be aware of. Evidently, people have been complaining about lube’s messiness and inconvenience when it comes to spontaneity, and manufacturers have taken the complaints to heart.
Check out "Intimate Options" mousse lubricant—it’s perfect for impulsive, artless lovemaking. Because it’s a mousse, it stays right where you want it and disappears on contact to become a silky smooth lubricant. You can use it on the leather sofa, in the re-upholstered minivan, wherever. It holds its shape and is light as a feather. It's also a great solution so you won't have to explain stains to your mother-in-law when she inspects your house with an iron glare and a white glove during visits.
Foam by the bedside (or wherever), along with your favorite toys and form of protection, can mean that you can go from zero to sixty in less time than it takes to get your clothes off and put your cell phones on vibrate.
Batman has his utility belt but if you’re on the go, put together an emergency sex kit—it might be just the ticket. A non-descript travel bag filled with goodies and necessities can help you be ready for love anywhere, anytime.
Be safe and be sensible, and use your imagination. Breath mints, an extra set of undergarments, a tape recorder, massage oils. Be creative now, so that the future can take you by surprise. Your spouse will thank you, if they aren’t too shocked to remember the words.
Machelle M. Seibel, MD is a Professor of Ob/Gyn, at the University of Massachusetts