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The Brilliant Tribe That Will Save Your LifeHere are 10 tips to boost social connectivity and the friends who will help you get there.
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When you find your tribe you'll boost your social connections, which result in a bunch of benefits.
“ It is a shame we have to grow up, because so many of the things we did as kids were so correct.”
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It’s pretty clear that eating a healthy diet, exercising, taking good supplements, sleeping deep, meditating, and having balanced hormones are all factors vital for sustaining your brilliant self— long-term. But, another powerful strategy for maintaining your optimal health—and the one that is perhaps the most ignored—is by nourishing one’s connectedness and plugging in socially. However, in this new, digital world we live in, doing this is deceptively difficult.
Let’s face it: We are sifting through a LOT of communication and information from thousands of people every day. Humans are social beings, we’re simply built that way, and we actually do live and survive through our social connections. That’s why it’s important to make sure those connections are real and meaningful, not just words on a screen. The wonderful power of social behavior, or "meeting up," can give us energy, heal many of our hurts, help to identify our weaknesses, bring out the best in us, and ultimately give us purpose.
Researchers at Brigham Young University looked at 148 studies on social interactions. They concluded that those who had planned regular social interactions— including with family, friends, and colleagues— improved their long-term odds of survival by more than 50%. Surprisingly, those in the study who had very limited or no social connectedness had a comparable heath status to someone who was smoking 15 cigarettes per day, an alcoholic, not exercising, or suffering from obesity.
Bottom line: Life's too short to waste in an endless mire of low-level anxiety that comes from being overworked, it really doesn’t get us where we want to be. It is a shame we have to grow up, because so many of the things we did as kids were so correct. As children, we were not overshadowed by worries, money problems, responsibilities, and the constant issue of overthinking everything. Having fun was just instinctual! Stomping in puddles, lying around laughing, playing in the pool, riding bikes, and forming intense, connected friendships. We seem to lose this carefree attitude as we age, replacing it with deadlines, over-committed schedules, stress induced paralysis, and exhaustion to the point that we start saying NO to everything fun.
And the irony is, our demands—some material, others out of our control—hold us captive to a happiness that is forever elusive. Instead, in our endless quest, we become governed by feelings of exhaustion and inadequacy. We need to reclaim that sense of impulsive pleasure that went hand-in-hand with childhood.
Tips for Improving Social Connectivity
1. Do not use the internet as your ONLY social support. This superficial connection is often not deep enough to really help someone feel "heard," confirmed, supported, or energized.
2. Engage in a group sports activity or just go on a walk with someone outside. Not only are walking and sports activities great for you physically, they also ground you when you are outside and in nature.
3. Go on a DATE! Plan weekly a date with a bestie or significant other. Planning this activity and having a standing time is essential for "making it happen."
4. Socialize as a family. While this may seem like a thing of the past due to our hectic world today, families that take time out to meet with other families socially have deeper connectedness and family bonding.
5. Get out from behind your TV or computer screen. Real relationships are largely nonverbal. You have to be face to face to really communicate well and connect.
6. Call a friend. Don’t e-mail them, call them! Ultimately this is about being in your friends’ lives. Just show up for those that you love!
7. Put down your work and call it a day. Enough said.
8. Load up on funny friends. Intentionally find two or three funny friends who will for sure make you laugh from your belly.
9. Reconnect with nature. A little sunlight, listening to the sounds of nature, breathing in the fresh air, and feeling the wind on your face are great, cost-free and immediate ways to reduce stress that most people don't often think to do.
10. Find humor in your life. Instead of complaining about life's frustrations, try to laugh about them. This may be difficult at first, but if something is so frustrating or depressing that it's ridiculous, realize that you could look back on it and laugh.
The Three Types of Friends You Should Have in Your Tribe
1. Fearless Adventurer. Being busy and stuck in our own over-packed stressful life often calls for a friend that will talk you into breaking loose and taking a load off. We all need someone that is fun, lighthearted, adventurous, and playful to encourage us let go of our schedule, and do something we would have never done otherwise. It’s good for our soul, mind and spirit and will most likely cause you to laugh, release endorphins and be more proud of yourself for doing it!
2. Wise Counselor Confidant. There are situations in life (sometimes more often than we wish) where we just have to face the truth that comes right out of the mouth of someone closest to us. If you are struggling with a relationship dilemma or work situation, calling upon a trusted, wise friend can be invaluable. Being close to a situation will often keep us for seeing it as it really is. Taking off the rose colored glasses and Polly-Anna mindset, and getting smacked upside the head to wake up and see things for the way they are often happens by a trusted friend showing it to you up close and personal.
3. Loyal Bestie. Sometimes when you are mining your fears out of your gut, to hopefully open your heart and spirit to new thoughts, goals, and challenges, all you really need is a loyal friend to to support you in the process. Loyal Besties are there for you no matter what, they know you, understand you, and are willing to let you make mistakes while they support you, and mentor you, and most of all just listen well.
Nisha Jackson, PhD, MS, WHCNP, HHP, author of "Brilliant Burnout," is a nationally-recognized hormone expert and gynecology health specialist with 29 years of experience in research and patient care. She is the founder and owner of Peak Medical Clinics.
Let’s face it: We are sifting through a LOT of communication and information from thousands of people every day. Humans are social beings, we’re simply built that way, and we actually do live and survive through our social connections. That’s why it’s important to make sure those connections are real and meaningful, not just words on a screen. The wonderful power of social behavior, or "meeting up," can give us energy, heal many of our hurts, help to identify our weaknesses, bring out the best in us, and ultimately give us purpose.
Researchers at Brigham Young University looked at 148 studies on social interactions. They concluded that those who had planned regular social interactions— including with family, friends, and colleagues— improved their long-term odds of survival by more than 50%. Surprisingly, those in the study who had very limited or no social connectedness had a comparable heath status to someone who was smoking 15 cigarettes per day, an alcoholic, not exercising, or suffering from obesity.
Bottom line: Life's too short to waste in an endless mire of low-level anxiety that comes from being overworked, it really doesn’t get us where we want to be. It is a shame we have to grow up, because so many of the things we did as kids were so correct. As children, we were not overshadowed by worries, money problems, responsibilities, and the constant issue of overthinking everything. Having fun was just instinctual! Stomping in puddles, lying around laughing, playing in the pool, riding bikes, and forming intense, connected friendships. We seem to lose this carefree attitude as we age, replacing it with deadlines, over-committed schedules, stress induced paralysis, and exhaustion to the point that we start saying NO to everything fun.
And the irony is, our demands—some material, others out of our control—hold us captive to a happiness that is forever elusive. Instead, in our endless quest, we become governed by feelings of exhaustion and inadequacy. We need to reclaim that sense of impulsive pleasure that went hand-in-hand with childhood.
Tips for Improving Social Connectivity
1. Do not use the internet as your ONLY social support. This superficial connection is often not deep enough to really help someone feel "heard," confirmed, supported, or energized.
2. Engage in a group sports activity or just go on a walk with someone outside. Not only are walking and sports activities great for you physically, they also ground you when you are outside and in nature.
3. Go on a DATE! Plan weekly a date with a bestie or significant other. Planning this activity and having a standing time is essential for "making it happen."
4. Socialize as a family. While this may seem like a thing of the past due to our hectic world today, families that take time out to meet with other families socially have deeper connectedness and family bonding.
5. Get out from behind your TV or computer screen. Real relationships are largely nonverbal. You have to be face to face to really communicate well and connect.
6. Call a friend. Don’t e-mail them, call them! Ultimately this is about being in your friends’ lives. Just show up for those that you love!
7. Put down your work and call it a day. Enough said.
8. Load up on funny friends. Intentionally find two or three funny friends who will for sure make you laugh from your belly.
9. Reconnect with nature. A little sunlight, listening to the sounds of nature, breathing in the fresh air, and feeling the wind on your face are great, cost-free and immediate ways to reduce stress that most people don't often think to do.
10. Find humor in your life. Instead of complaining about life's frustrations, try to laugh about them. This may be difficult at first, but if something is so frustrating or depressing that it's ridiculous, realize that you could look back on it and laugh.
The Three Types of Friends You Should Have in Your Tribe
1. Fearless Adventurer. Being busy and stuck in our own over-packed stressful life often calls for a friend that will talk you into breaking loose and taking a load off. We all need someone that is fun, lighthearted, adventurous, and playful to encourage us let go of our schedule, and do something we would have never done otherwise. It’s good for our soul, mind and spirit and will most likely cause you to laugh, release endorphins and be more proud of yourself for doing it!
2. Wise Counselor Confidant. There are situations in life (sometimes more often than we wish) where we just have to face the truth that comes right out of the mouth of someone closest to us. If you are struggling with a relationship dilemma or work situation, calling upon a trusted, wise friend can be invaluable. Being close to a situation will often keep us for seeing it as it really is. Taking off the rose colored glasses and Polly-Anna mindset, and getting smacked upside the head to wake up and see things for the way they are often happens by a trusted friend showing it to you up close and personal.
3. Loyal Bestie. Sometimes when you are mining your fears out of your gut, to hopefully open your heart and spirit to new thoughts, goals, and challenges, all you really need is a loyal friend to to support you in the process. Loyal Besties are there for you no matter what, they know you, understand you, and are willing to let you make mistakes while they support you, and mentor you, and most of all just listen well.
Nisha Jackson, PhD, MS, WHCNP, HHP, author of "Brilliant Burnout," is a nationally-recognized hormone expert and gynecology health specialist with 29 years of experience in research and patient care. She is the founder and owner of Peak Medical Clinics.
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