Battle Of The Bulge This week Dr. Read examines why men are so wrapped-up when it comes to size. After this read, both you and your spouse will understand why itís all relative. BY DR. TRINA READ
A lot of attention gets paid to a man's junk. Dr. Read explains why.
My introduction to the penis was unceremonious and pretty typical of a five-year-old: I will show you mine, neighbor boy, if you show me yours. By 13, my girlfriends and I successfully came up with all the ways to say penis from A to Z. Iím still trying to remember what we used for "x".
Throughout my youth, I was both fascinated and jealous of the relationship men had with their penises. Real men did, but good girls never. No wonder Freud called it penis envy.
As a result you could have knocked me over with a feather when I found out men are just as uptight about their penises as women are about their vaginas. Itís just a different kind of uptight. A manís very identity is wrapped up in his penis. Itís both the visible evidence of his virility and his ultimate power symbol. Every known society has shrouded the penis in some form of hero worship.
Therefore, if a man is not up to the "social standard" with his penis size, his hardness, his giddy-up or his durability during sex, he is made to feel less than adequate. Not surprisingly, then, the size of a manís penis becomes one of his life-long super big insecurities. I have counseled too-many-to-count men, explaining that Mother Nature made the vaginal canal about the same length as an average sized penisó5 to 7 inches. It's a made-to-fit order. However, talking to these men is like talking to a brick wall.
To be fair, the only time a man gets to see another manís erect penis is by watching porno movies. These porno penises become the average guyís unrealistic penis role models. The irony is: men who have large penises complain to me how women gaspónot in pleasure, but rather in dismay when they first sets eyes on his organ.
Then there is the "showers" or "growers" complex. When men are walking around naked in the locker room supposedly not looking at one anotherís penises, there are some men who are larger when flaccid: "showers". Other men have the "acorn syndrome" or are "growers", which means theyíre smaller when flaccid. However, when erect, all these penises are all about the same size.
How about penis wording? We use the word impotent, meaning "without power", to describe a man who is unable to have or sustain an erection. In addition, have you ever considered that there is no such thing as a sexy semi-hard penis? Our whacked-out belief system perpetuates that, when there is no erection, there can be no sex.
Men are somehow hardwired to believe that, if they do not get a "rock hard" erection like they did when they were 17 years old, there is something wrong with them. Think of how many million Viagra prescriptions were given out last year. The truth is, as a man ages, so does his penis. It takes a little longer for him to get erect, it becomes flaccid more easily and it takes longer to reach ejaculation.
How about the myth that a "real" manís penis never gets nervous, anxious, angry or tired? It somehow springs to attention at a momentís notice, and never becomes flaccid during sex.
Temporary impotence happens to every single man at some point. If he is not feeling sexy, the hydraulics will probably not work. Plus when a manís penis is not receiving direct stimulation during sex, it probably will go temporarily flaccidóbecause heís concentrating on other activities.
Gosh, that 5 to 7 inches of flesh sure has a lot to live up to. Hopefully, everyone can become a little more realistic in their expectations of it.
Dr. Trina Read has a doctorate in human sexuality. Dr. Read is also an international speaker and offers free sex tips on her website www.bestsextipsever.com.