How to Save Your Marriage, Alone, Even After He Has Checked Out If you want to make a change in the marriage dynamic, start by looking in the mirror. BY KATARINA PHANG
It only takes on person in the marriage to make a change that can positively affect the marriage.
“ To understand the mind is first to bring awareness into your daily life, into every activity youíre engaged in, including thinking.”
Most marriages are worth salvaging, even when they look hopeless.†Iím a believer that it only takes one person to save a relationship and I have proven it with my track record of helping thousands of women amend their broken relationships/marriages by simply transforming themselves and shifting their energies in the process.
When one person changes in the relationship, the other has to change as well to adjust to the new position. When a partner isnít being resisted, whatever poses as a stumbling block will eventually dissolve.
Even if a divorce happens, the transformation that happens wonít be for nothing.
So why does a relationship become hard over time? Itís because of accumulation and resistance.
What is accumulation? Accumulation of the piling of experiences that typically involve unresolved issues and hurt feelings.
How does accumulation happen? It happens because most people donít let memories die in the past. They either live in the past or in the future, both of which don't exist, thus are illusions.
Why donít people let the past die? Because the ego lives in psychological time: which involves the past or the future. The movement in the mind space is resistance of the present moment. The mind isnít really needed in the now, so dropping the mind is really about dwelling and surrender of the glorious moment.
What is resistance? Resistance happens when there is a gap between "what is" and "what should be." "What should be" is the play of the mind, itís the resistance of the now. Itís what expectations are. And expectations are the mother of all heartaches.
So between those two things: accumulation and resistance, marital issues are created and exacerbated over time. Remember this: what you resist persists, what you embrace dissolves.
So when your husband has checked out from the marriage, shift your energy by avoiding those two things. Itís hard, but itís doable.
To tame the ego and its penchant to accumulate and resist is to understand and see how the mind works. Only when the nature of the mind/ego is seen, the mind will no longer be front and center. You will no longer identify with and be lost in the identification with thoughts. Your thoughts will no longer rule you as they do now. All the problems you have in your marriage are created when you believe whatever your thoughts say.
Many thoughts fail to empower and uplift. They oftentimes center around lack and negative "I" thoughts. Your thoughts will drive you into responding to situations with anger, pushiness, blaming, shaming and resentment.
To understand the mind is first to bring awareness into your daily life, into every activity youíre engaged in, including thinking. Try to catch yourself when youíre thinking and learn to let the thought go.
It will be very hard at first because we are conditioned to think incessantly, so the notion that you arenít your thoughts is totally mind-boggling because now the mind needs to see itself and itís something it has never done before.
However, when you are forced to look what this mind is, you will notice that the mind will become silent before, of course, it starts jumping into the next thought and the next preoccupation. In this silence of the mind, insights pop up out of nowhere. The more you cultivate this silence, the more grounded you become; and if you consistently do this, your energy will eventually shift.
Your husband will notice the shift in your energy and he will respond accordingly.
Rebuilding your relationshipóand love lifeóis about shifting your energy: from lack and desperation to excitement about possibilities and the faith in abundance of life; from anger and resentment to love, gratitude and compassion; from fear to hope and self-confidence; from misery to joyfulness; and last but not least: from the need to control and hold on to things/ideas/person so tightly to letting go.
Katarina Phang is a dating/relationship coach and Feminine Magnetism expert par extraordinaire who has worked and helped thousands of women from all corners of the world transform their relationships using her very†profound, unique and counter-intuitive teachings of inner work/personal transformation. Whatever your situation is her Feminine Magnetism Method will help you turn it around. Katarina changes lives†every single day and revolutionizes the world by providing infinite possibilities to human growth and bringing insights into the evolution of human consciousness... one woman at a time. She is indeed the last resort†when everything else has failed. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter and visit her website here: KatarinaPhang.com.