Why Women Give Each Other a Bad Name Here are 5 pet peeves from one woman to another. BY TINA ARANA ANDERSON, M.A.
In an effort to improve themselves, one woman shares her wishlist with other women.
“ Withholding sex with your guy is equivalent to him withholding emotional connections and not even pretending to listen to your diatribes…”
Ladies, ladies, ladies. I love you, my fellow Goddesses. Yes, I do and this is not a women-bashing article. Not even. Everything I write about is with love and compassion; with discernment and without critical judgment. But, I’ve been a women all my life, and at 55 years of age I must admit, at times I just don’t get my fellow gender.
Here’s a little of what drives me cray-cray and what I believe gives us a bad name—besides the Venus and Mars comparison (which I thoroughly enjoyed):
No. 1 Pet Peeve: Getting hurt over nonsense. I’m fortunate in that I’m a guy-girl. I was raised by my dad. I have two boys. I’m an Aquarian. And, I’ve worked closely with guys all of my life. I get men. So, let me share a secret with you. They are incredibly gifted at having heated conversations, playing a competitive game of ball and then kicking it for fun and laughs over drinks afterwards. They compartmentalize and move on. Someone doesn’t hurt your feelings. It’s your reaction to something said or done. No one offends you. It’s your reaction to something said or done; and, often times you overreact. I want other women and men to know they can be genuine around me. No one needs to tiptoe around possible "hurt"feelings. My unsolicited advice (as a guy-girl), focus on your truths and let the rest of the sh*t run off you like teflon. Petty, adolescent drama is so outdated.
No. 2 Pet Peeve: In public bathrooms leaving the toilet seat cover on the toilet after using it or worse yet, leaving urine all over the toilet seat and a crumpled up seat cover. What part of your vision does not see the mess you made and are leaving? I am guessing that no one in your home runs in each time you use the "little girl’s room" and cleans up after you. Why is it my job, then, in a public restroom? It’s time to put squats in your workout and get stronger if you cannot properly hover over the seat. Or, use the cover and make sure it’s not stuck to the seat (with your bodily fluids—yuk) before you leave.
No. 3 Pet Peeve: Withholding sex as a punishment. Puh-lease. If your husband is a typical guy who needs the typical amount of sex, this is simply cruel. Plus, your man then tells other guys and the other guys then tell more guys and pretty soon a lot of guys think the rest of us use this tactic. Withholding sex with your beau is equivalent to him withholding emotional connections and not even pretending to listen to your diatribes and long explanations about stuff he pretends to care about as much as you do. Find a workaround. I promise you that he will try harder (at whatever you ask of him) if his manhood is not prevented from getting harder… if you know what I mean.
No. 4 Pet Peeve: Judging someone’s appearance and unique self-expression. It’s like watching the Oscar’s red carpet as a fashion critic. How many times have you walked into a room with other women and immediately felt judged about your wardrobe, hair, make-up and general appearance? How many times have you felt that from a bunch of guys in the room? They might be making a judgement, but it’s not for the same reason and they are not being malicious or sending negative vibes. Seriously. I don’t follow the trends much and I go from corporate to hippie to Goddess and provocative all the time and with ease. Of course, my GF’s don’t judge me, but the looks I’ve received… Let women be themselves and just appreciate their self-expression no matter the form. What does it matter to you if a gal is dressed in sequins and combat boots with pink hair and nose rings? In fact, strike up a conversation and get to know her better. She’s obviously unique and colorful.
No. 5 Pet Peeve: And, finally the big J. Jealousy. If you are insecure, feel inadequate and are quick to get jealous, you need some help. I’m not kidding. Start with self-help. You are not living an abundant and fulfilled life. You are missing out on joy and happiness. You are wrapped up in your own story and wounds. And… you remind men why relationships can be so difficult and frustrating. Before you go bonkers on me (yes—men get jealous, too. Obviously. I am not proposing that this is only a female issue), do me a favor. Do your spouse a favor. Get this one figured out as quick as possible. Jealous women are not representative of the normal, well-adjusted gals. It’s downright embarrassing at times. (Sorry, not sorry. Truth.)
What do you think gives us a bad name? And, I still love all of you… even you toilet seat perpetrators...yuuuuk.
Tina Arana Anderson, M.A., is a media and wellness specialist and spiritual mentor. She combines her media and wellness experience with spiritual mentoring and intuitive guidance. She’s an angel therapist, clairvoyant and clairaudient as well as a writer, host and producer. Her ultimate gift is helping you with high vibrational, joy-filled living; deep inner-peace and lots of levity. For project collaborations, parties or private sessions, contact her at tinaandersonOC.com.