A Contemporary View of Romance What you express to your spouse and how it benefits their feelings is the building block of romance. BY TINA ARANA ANDERSON, M.A.
To make an impact in the romance department you must prioritize your spouse.
“ Acknowledge your partnerís romantic side even if he or she doesnít.”
Authentic romance is unbelievably awesome at all levels. Romance is a feeling and an expression. Itís not difficult to add to your marriage either. In fact, we sometimes do not recognize it in our own gestures or that of our spouseís.
I believe that your husband or wifeís love language is also part of his or her romantic language. Letís get beyond the idealized notions (greeting cards, flowers, chocolate, etc.) and focus on an expression of how you feel and how you want the other person to feel. Everything else falls into the "toolbox" category.
Romance is not a thing. It is a love-centered gesture based on touching each otherís hearts from a connection that only the two of you understand. It can be simple. It can be an everyday thing, like getting coffee for your spouse to an elaborate surprise getaway.
Contemporary romance is thinking aboutófirstówhat makes each other feel special and appreciated and heard; understood and accepted. Itís also about creating mystery, fun, playfulness and an escape from our normal lives. (Umm, sure. Sometimes, itís hot sex. I hope so, anyway!)
I know that making a list doesnít sound romantic at all, but itís a fantastic way to keep the romance aliveóas they say, and hereís why. There are two lists, by the way. One is for your spouse and what he or she would like. The other is for you and what he or she is already doing that makes you feel special and loved. Both are for you to be more aware of the current love language/romance and to help you be more creative. Just making the lists will get you thinking more about your unique romance in your everyday lives.
Now, if there is nothing going on in the romance department at all, think back to when you first met and to today and what he or she enjoys. Yes, you can make the first gesture.
How simple is all of this? Bring home the favorite candy bar, a DVD of a favorite movie, run his/her car through the carwash, leave a short note on the kitchen counter, surprise each other with your favorite takeout so no one has to cook or clean-up, go for a walk and hold hands, buy cotton candy at an amusement park and eat it togetherÖ share an ice cream cone.
Consider your love languagesÖ how do you express your love for each other? How does it positively enhance your life? Acknowledge your partnerís romantic side, even if he or she doesnít. The way you express love and support for each other is contemporary romance. Thinking about your husband or wife before yourself is a simple gesture of romance.
Showing that you know what your spouse likes and needs to feel specialófrom what you say and do to what you wear and buy for him or heróitís all romance.
Tina Arana Anderson, M.A., is a media and wellness specialist and spiritual mentor. She combines her media and wellness experience with spiritual mentoring and intuitive guidance. Sheís an angel therapist, clairvoyant and clairaudient as well as a writer, host and producer. Her ultimate gift is helping you with high vibrational, joy-filled living; deep inner-peace and lots of levity. For project collaborations, parties or private sessions, contact her at tinaandersonOC.com.