Sex Q&A: Attack of the Sloppy Kisser and The Battle of ED Two wives struggle with their husband's performance. Dr. Read has advice for how to address both. BY DR. TRINA READ
Get closer by taking charge and having a needed conversation.
“ Men see ED as a mechanical problem; while women see it as a relationship problem.”
Sex and relationship expert, Dr. Trina Read, is ready to answer your questions.
My husband is a sloppy kisser and I get completely turned off. How can I tell him without hurting his feelings?
During a lifetime, the average human will spend a total of two solid weeks kissing. Hence, never underestimate the power of a good kisser—or bad kisser—and how it impacts your sexual response.
A big reason why long term couples stop the all important "kissing like teenagers" is because of: bad breath; bad kissing technique; or after the initial "honeymoon haze" it seems an overly intimate gesture. Too bad really. Kissing adds so much to the lovemaking experience.
The best way to turn your situation around is to show him what you want. One evening surprise him and say, "Let’s make out on the couch."
Remember to do a breath check prior. And if you are so brave, tell him to gargle with mouthwash—trust me he’ll be happy to oblige.
Then, with your lips just inches from theirs give him a gentle kiss. No tonguing, no extended kiss. Simply a soft… lingering… kiss. The best way to end the embrace is to place a second light kiss on or around their neck area.
The rest is up to you and your kissing preference. Tell him you want to kiss him more like this, and often.
Great Sex Tip: The key to any good kiss is to not rush, rather savoring the moment.
My husband is having difficulty getting and maintaining an erection. What can I do?
When erectile dysfunction (ED) strikes, trouble frequently begins because of poor communication: Men see ED as a mechanical problem; while women see it as a relationship problem.
Men: * Go to your family doctor and have a complete physical. * Educate yourself by researching causes. * Don’t blame yourself or your partner. * Don’t withdraw. * Talk about how you feel and ask how she feels. * If the communication is too much to handle, seek professional counseling.
Women: * Don’t say things like, "It doesn’t matter honey." It matters a great deal to him. * Don’t blame yourself thinking you are unattractive or unskillful. * Don’t think your relationship is in terrible trouble—unless both of you deny there is a problem. * Don’t force the issue; yet encourage him to confide. * Reassure him that you love him and do not consider him less of a man. * Offer to contact doctors or therapists if he is not willing.
Understanding your mate helps sharpen communication skills and eases your way through this disruptive time.
Great Sex Tip: When something goes wrong with a man’s body—like high blood pressure, vascular diseases or diabetes—sometimes the first thing to be effected is his ability to have or maintain an erection.
Dr. Trina Read is the founder of VivaXO.com; a leading relationship and sexual health expert and educator; and is a best selling author, media expert, syndicated blogger, international speaker, magazine columnist, and spokeswoman. Trina has just launched Sensual Tastes Events, an interactive workshop blending the pleasures of food and sex education. Follow her on Twitter and Facebook.