Sex Q&A: Can Vibrators Take Away From the Real Thing? This week, Dr. Read gives advice on whether or not to tell your spouse you cheated, and how a possible vibrator addiction can take away from the real thing. BY DR. TRINA READ
If you're having trouble having an orgasm without a vibrator, Dr. Trina Read has tips.
“ Some women swear that vibrator use has caused physiologically reliance; that she has become addicted to her vibrator.”
Sex and relationship expert, Dr. Trina Read, is ready to answer your questions.
I cheated on my partner and I don’t know whether I should tell?
Deciding whether to tell a spouse about an affair is a highly complex and personal matter. Here are a few things to consider.
Are You in the "Good" or "Right" Camp?
The field of ethics can be divided into two camps: the good and the right. If you are in the "good" camp you may feel it best to not mention your indiscretion believing your relationship would be better off that way. Whereas the "right" camp believes right is right, wrong is wrong, and therefore you must tell your spouse about what you did.
Why Did You Cheat?
Perhaps you had a moment of weakness, a one-night-stand that will never happen again. Or were you feeling unhappy in your relationship and went looking for attention elsewhere? Or perhaps you’ve fallen out love and cheating as an easy way to get out of this relationship.
Who Else Will Be Affected?
There is your larger social circle to consider. There are kids, extended families and your shared circle of friends. How would a breakup affect your relationship with them?
Hopefully these ideas will give you a direction you feel most comfortable with.
Great Sex Tip: Cheating has put you at risk for social diseases such as venereal disease or AIDS. Immediately get yourself tested for STIs and put all sexual contact with your partner on hold.
I've used a couple of different vibrators and now I'm having trouble orgasming with my husband. Could the vibration of the vibrator and amount of usage be causing this problem? The sex is great, but I like to have an orgasm while having it too.
Some women swear that vibrator use has caused physiologically reliance; that she has become addicted to her vibrator.
However, there isn't any scientific research to back this idea up; which means that there is a good chance that you have potentially trained yourself to be reliant upon the vibrators mentally not physiologically.
Granted, vibrations feel a lot more intense and will cause a quicker orgasm. Going back to manual stimulation means it won’t feel as intense and will take longer to achieve orgasm.
My suggestion is if it’s difficult to relax and focus during sex to orgasm without a vibrator, to change things up for awhile. Either go back to masturbating with your hand or use a totally different vibe which feels significantly different from the ones you feel reliant on.
After a period of time, you should be able to return to those vibrators once you have confidence again.
Great Sex Tip: Experiment stimulating different erotic zones on your body. This will not only take the focus off having an orgasm, it will probably show you many other ways to enjoy yourself during intercourse.
Dr. Trina Read is the founder of VivaXO.com; a leading relationship and sexual health expert and educator; and is a best selling author, media expert, syndicated blogger, international speaker, magazine columnist, and spokeswoman. Trina has just launched Sensual Tastes Events, an interactive workshop blending the pleasures of food and sex education. Follow her on Twitter and Facebook.