Sex Q&A: Combating Boring Sex Dr. Read suggests a few ways to undo boring sex and offers insight on vaginal surgery. BY DR. TRINA READ
If your sex life is boring it's time you try doing something different--perhaps a rendezvous outdoors.
“ Initiate sex at a different time of day, in a different place, or in a different position than usual.”
Sex and relationship expert, Dr. Trina Read, is ready to answer your questions.
Sex with my husband is so boring that I don’t care if I ever have sex again. Any suggestions?
The simplest solution would be to do something different and if you’re not sure where to start here are five easy ideas.
1. Start with fantasy. Each day give yourself a few minutes to fantasize about a sexy experience you might want to try. Stimulating your mind through active recall will activate your sexual desire.
2. Introduce spontaneity. Occasionally surprise your partner with something new. Initiate sex at a different time of day, in a different place, or in a different position than usual.
3. E-Flirt. Throw in a flirty message when texting, e-mailing or calling. Tell them you’re fantasizing about them, ask what they’re wearing, or tease them with what you will do to that evening.
4. Get touchy-feely with your skin. Waking up your skin will increase your sensuality. You can even do this while at work by gently caressing the inside of your wrist or behind your ears.
5. Do something (anything) different. Get out of the house and do something fun together. It’s so much easier to feel sexy when we don’t feel bogged down by routine-rut.
Great Sex Tip: Trying new things will release dopamine into your brain giving you a ‘zing’ like when you first met each other.
I’m really self-conscious about how my vagina is lopsided. I want to get surgery to make it more symmetrical. Any suggestions?
You’re not alone feeling this way. In recent years, female genital reproductive surgery has become an increasingly popular trend. In fact, according to a recent study, vaginal cosmetic surgery is the fastest-growing cosmetic procedure in the U.K.
The two main surgeries performed currently are labiaplasty and vaginoplasty. Labiaplasties decrease the size of women’s labia through snipping and sculpting. Vaginoplasty tightens and decreases the size of her vaginal opening.
In a survey, plastic surgeons attest the majority of their patients were physiologically normal and wanting surgery was not due to incontinence, or any other medical problem; rather these women wanted surgery for purely aesthetic reasons.
What is disturbing is these women with healthy, well-functioning vulvas opt for surgery even though risks associated include the loss of sensitivity or painful stimulation.
On the flip side, women who feel more comfortable with their privates may experience higher sexual esteem, which can lead to greater sexual satisfaction.
Great Sex Tip: If you really feel vaginal reconstructive surgery is the right choice for you, give it a long hard think. It seems to me that women who want this surgery have underlying self-esteem issues and I’m not certain your problems will be solved with the simple slice of a scalpel.
Dr. Trina Read is the founder of VivaXO.com; a leading relationship and sexual health expert and educator; and is a best selling author, media expert, syndicated blogger, international speaker, magazine columnist, and spokeswoman. Trina has just launched Sensual Tastes Events, an interactive workshop blending the pleasures of food and sex education. Follow her on Twitter and Facebook.