Sex Q&A: Are There Exercises for the Vagina? Yes! Dr. Read shares vagina exercises (really!), and addresses exhaustion as an excuse for lack of sex. BY DR. TRINA READ
If your schedule prevents you from having sex, it's time to reorganize your schedule.
“ Unfortunately, 'I’m too tired' can easily become a bad habit—saying it before you really think about whether you are or not.”
Sex and relationship expert, Dr. Trina Read, is ready to answer your questions.
I feel so self-conscious about being ‘loose’ during intercourse. What can I do?
Kegels, Kegels and more Kegels.
Every muscle group in your body needs to be exercised in order to maintain tone and strength. This includes your vagina muscles, known as your pubococcygeal (PC) muscle group. If not exercised, your PC muscle will eventually become slack and atrophy, causing a lack of sensation around your vaginal opening.
The good news? Daily Kegel exercises help make for bigger, better orgasms.
First you must locate your PC muscle:
* Sit over a toilet and start a flow of urine * Half way through stop the flow * Concentrate on what muscle you used to stop the flow—that is your PC muscle.
Here’s how to do two different Kegel exercises:
The Squeeze and Release Exercise:
Contract your PC muscle for three seconds, let them rest for three seconds. Do 10 times per day.
The Flutter Exercises:
Squeeze and release as quickly as possible. Rapidly squeeze and release 10 times. Do three sets per day.
It’s normal for your PC muscle to tire out easily at first.
Do your Kegels while in the shower, brushing your teeth, commuting to work, waiting at stop lights, exercising or listening to your favorite music.
Sex Tip: Some postmenopausal women find Kegels help them to maintain lubrication, as the daily exercise increases blood flow to the vaginal area.
It seems I’m always too tired to have sex. What can I do?
There’s a reason sleep is considered the new sex: exhaustion is very real and a big concern for couples. Generally though, being tired shouldn’t equate to a person’s motivation to have sex.
Unfortunately, "I’m too tired" can easily become a bad habit—saying it before you really think about whether you are or not.
Or it can be a cover up for other things that have gone wrong in the bedroom: lack of communication, build-up of resentment, boring sex, the list goes on and on. Sometimes it’s easier for a couple to sidestep huge arguments by saying they are tired rather than opening that Pandora’s Box.
If you are genuinely tired, the two of you need to create more realistic expectations around what you can do to keep sex on the radar given your lifestyle and schedule.
Scheduling sex is the easiest way for a couple to keep their sex life on the radar. Research proves couples that schedule sex have more sex that is mutually satisfying.
Keep in mind, the feel good hormones that are released during sex might just be what you need for a pick-me-up… or to get to sleep faster, which is also nice.
Sex Tip: Focus on maintaining intimacy outside the bedroom as it will fill in the lack-of-having-sex-often-enough gaps.
Dr. Trina Read is the founder of VivaXO.com; a leading relationship and sexual health expert and educator; and is a best selling author, media expert, syndicated blogger, international speaker, magazine columnist, and spokeswoman. Trina has just launched Sensual Tastes Events, an interactive workshop blending the pleasures of food and sex education. Follow her on Twitter and Facebook.