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Tips to Push Your Sexual Boundaries in Marriage
If you want to explore your sexual fantasies and territory in the bedroom, follow these tips.

Trying new things in the bedroom adds variety and spice to your marriage.

Being scared, apprehensive, and intimidatedóespecially in the bedroomóis completely normal.”
Weíve had a few Love Tripperís send us e-mails to ask how to approach their partner about pushing their relationships sexual boundaries. Questions like, "How do I get my wife to try anal sex?" or "My partner isnít comfortable with trying bondage stuff. What should I do?"

Pushing your relationships sexual boundaries can be a delicate subject, especially if one partner is a little more on the conservative side.†Weíre pretty open-minded and adventurous, but we still approach certain acts apprehensively. With good communication, and an open mind, we were able to try new sexy adventures and figure out what we liked and what we didnít. You can too!

Always Start With Talking

First and foremost you need to have a very open, honest, and adult conversation about anything new you want to try with your spouse.†Being scared, apprehensive, and intimidatedóespecially in the bedroomóis completely normal.†Talk about what type of new things you'd like to try, keep a very open mind, and donít judge your partner.

Having this conversation in the right setting is important too. Trying to bring up anal sex while on the drive to your in-laws or church is probably not the right time. Have a quiet chat on a weekend†at home, in the bedroom, or chilling on the couch. Make sure everyone is in a nice relaxed, comfortable mood.

Educate Yourselves

We are naturally afraid of what we donít know. Sit down with your husband or wife and do some research. What are the best lubes for anal sex? Or the most comfortable restraints? Or check out our†beginner's bondage guide†for ideas on where to start.†Not only will you be more prepared, the research itself will turn into foreplay really quickly!

“Sit down with your husband or wife and do some research.”

Donít Pressure Each Other

Itís very possible that all the conversation and education in the world wonít change your spouse's mind about trying something new. Youíve had an open and adult conversation, done your research on anal sex, and your spouse still doesnít want to try it. Then you need to respect their wishes.†Donít pressure, or beg, or mope if youíre not getting what you want.

If youíre on the other side of the fence, and your partner is asking you to do something youíre not comfortable with, you at least owe it to them to take the time and consider it thoroughly. Why do they want to try anal sex, or whatever other sexual act? Why do they find it exciting? What are your reasons for saying no? Is it a past experience that went wrong? Be considerate of their fantasies and desires and work on finding a place you feel comfortable. Itís ok to say no, but be an adult about the situation. Your partner could take the rejection of the idea as a rejection of themselves if youíre not careful.

Trial and Error

Trial and error is all part of the fun! Just because the first time you tried deepthroating didnít go as well as you expected doesnít mean you shouldnít try again. Learn from your mistakes, adjust your techniques, have a laugh about it,†and try, try again. Practice makes perfect!

Be Encouraging to Each Other

Our confidence can be really brittle when weíre trying something new, especially if it is something that makes us feel vulnerable like bondage.†Constantly encourage each other.†Tell him how strong he is, tell her how sexy she looks, express how good it feels.

Be sure to also ask your spouse if theyíre ok and comfortable often. Sometimes a slight shift of the hips can make all the difference between pleasure and pain. If at some point the act becomes too uncomfortable or painful you need to stop right away. The line between genuine pain and painful pleasure is very thin, be very mindful of you and your spouse's limits.

“Donít jump in with full on paddles and whips if youíve never even blindfolded each other before.”

Youíre Doing This to Improve Your Marriage

Pushing the boundaries of your sex life as a couple†is 100% guaranteed to make your love for each other deeper, hotter, and stronger.†That is a very strong motivation to help you push past the fear. Take the time to realize that moment you just shared with your spouse is very special and unique. There is only one person in the world that can help you push your sexual boundariesó cherish these sexy moments together.

Baby Steps

Donít jump in with full on paddles and whips if youíve never even blindfolded each other before.†One step a time, take it slow with each other.†Tonight is a blind fold. Next time itís handcuffs. Once you start to build some confidence in what youíre doing youíll be heading places you never thought you would.

Donít Use Porn as an Example

Porn is good for piquing your interest about certain subjects, but donít use it as an example of what the real thing is like. Anal sex in a porn is very different from anal sex in real life. Conversely, just because you might find a specific porn act "gross" doesnít mean itís not fun and extremely pleasurable.†Educate yourself, put away your prejudices, and find what works for you.

Talk About Your Experience Afterwards

Take the time to talk about your experience with your spouse afterwards. What did you like? What didnít you enjoy? Is there something you want to try differently? Were certain positions uncomfortable? Should you be going faster or slower?†Itís very important to reflect on what just happened so you can build upon that experience. Then start planning your next night of sexy fun!

Your sexual relationship is a big part of your Love Trip. Be adventurous! If something scares you then itís probably worth trying. Keep an open mind, be safe, and enjoy the sexy ride.

Chris and Katie are the Love Tripper's www.lovetripping.com. They have been together for over 9 years, and got married in April 2014. They believe that the key to a healthy long-lasting relationship is constant work and effort. The Love Tripper's share their advice on how to keep that sexy fire burning, avoiding pointless arguments, and finding a deeper love for your partner every day. Love is a trip, enjoy the ride!

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Over 1 million couples turn to Hitched for expert marital advice every year. Sign up now for our newsletter & get exclusive weekly content that will entertain, educate and inspire your marriage.

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