Valentine Seductions Is the art of seduction right for you? Dr. Read offers reasons why seduction might not be worth the effort. You decide. BY DR. TRINA READ
Seduction is fun in theory, but it takes effort.
Since Valentine’s Day is synonymous with seduction, I thumbed through some books on the art of seduction at the bookstore. One book suggested I dress in lingerie and have a friend take pictures of me. Then, after developing the film (um, I am going to take this film to what photo lab?), I should slip the picture into my partner’s lunch box or briefcase.
Another book suggested that after I write a love poem, then whisk off to the gourmet market to pick up some dark chocolate to cook a fabulous soufflé (This is assuming that I can write poetry and cook soufflé). The order for the night is to hand-feed my partner while reading my poem. After we take a steamy bath, I give them an oiled massage.
Great ideas. I can appreciate what a marvelous time they would create. This begs the question. If the average couples' sex life is lackluster, why are more people not jumping on the seduction bandwagon?
Simply put, seduction is a lot of work.
On the other hand, if a person’s sex is lackluster, they are probably missing sexy. The art of seduction helps a person to feel more alive, sexier and more sexual. It is a little jolt of electricity that gives us a kick-start out of lackluster.
Being a pragmatic gal, I thought I would list all the reasons why a person should not take the time to seduce their special someone. From this, you can decide whether all the sexy outweighs all the work.
Seduction takes a lot of planning. Give yourself at least a week of preparation time to set the scene of seduction. The fun part is dropping little hints to your lover, driving them crazy with what is going to happen.
Seduction takes a lot of creativity. I am not creative by nature, so I enlist the help of terrific books like Laura Corn’s 101 Nights of Great Romance.
However, I never follow the instructions word for word; I take the book’s suggestion as a starting place. For instance, given that I am terrified of cooking a soufflé, I would make my special cheesecake. Seeing that I am intimidated to write poetry, I would use poetry someone else wrote. Creatively use your strong points to help bring out your confidence.
Seduction can take a lot of money. Gourmet food and chocolate do not come cheap. Sexy lingerie costs a small fortune. Even bubble bath and massage oils carry a pretty hefty price tag.
Keep a dollar figure in the back of your head before you go out and buy. Being extra creative helps when you do not have plenty of cash.
Seduction takes a lot of bravery. To seduce someone you need to get out of your tried-and-true sexual habits or comfort zones. Trying new things means a lot of fumbling.
The trick to bravery is to fake-it-till-you-make-it. That is to put on the appearance of being brazen. This is where preparation is your best friend because you can practice things that you are not necessarily comfortable or confident with.
For example, practice sex-talk in a low husky voice. Or, practice a one-person strip show (complete with tip). Or, practice waiting on your bed in alluring and suggestive positions.
It is normal to feel a little ridiculous while practicing. With a few test-runs you will get better and your newfound brazen confidence will follow through when it is show time.
Seduction takes a lot of flexibility. Understand Murphy’s Law will occur right in the middle of your seduction. Case in point, just as you tie-up your lover, the phone will ring, a sleeping child will start to cry, or you will realize you tied your partners hands too tight.
Your seduction will never go as planned. Laugh it off and get back to enjoying the fun.
The questions remains, is seduction worth all of this effort? That is your call. I would say absolutely and without a doubt yes.
First of all, any person would L-O-V-E having all this fuss made just for them.
Second, going through this will boost your sexual self-esteem. Author and poet John Ruskin put it best when he said, "The highest reward for a person’s toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it."
Who knows? You may have so much fun that you will want to do this on a regular basis. So go on, create the scene of seduction for your lover. Strap on those obnoxiously high-heels; pour that steamy candle lit bubble bath; create that unforgettable gourmet meal.
Make this Valentine’s Day worth remembering.
Dr. Trina Read has a doctorate in human sexuality. Dr. Read is also an international speaker and offers a free sex audio tip weekly on her website www.trinaread.com/t-sextips.