Premature Punch Sure it's embarrassing, but premature ejaculation isn't something that should be ignored. BY DR. TRINA READ
If you think you're suffering from premature ejaculation, realize that your partner is too.
Taking a man to watch a gruesome horror movie will not elicit as much squirming as speaking to him about male "plumbing" problems. Yet with the arrival of Viagra and its infamous "I did it my way" commercials, men’s sexual concerns are finally coming out of the closet. Moreover, Dr. Ian Kern wrote "She Comes First" and based a career in sexual therapy on the fact that he once suffered from premature ejaculation.
So what is Premature Ejaculation (P.E.)? It is when a man orgasms too quickly for his, and likely his partner’s satisfaction. It is the most common sexual frustration men face and it happens most with young men.
In his book, Dr. Kern writes, "Through much of my life I’ve suffered terribly from sexual dysfunction, and I know all too well the humiliation, anxiety and despair of not being able to satisfy a woman… just the sight of a woman’s naked body could make me lose control, and foreplay quickly led to end of play… I was sure that on my gravestone, my epitaph would read, ‘He came. He saw. And then he came again.’ "
A man feeling angst about coming too quickly is nothing new. Dr. Alfred Kinsey in his book titled "The New Male Sexuality" published in 1953 found the typical male sustains penetrative thrusting, on average, for about two and a half minutes.
Why do some men suffer from P.E. and others do not? Well, there has been a lot of debate tossed around on this. The most popular reason held is men create poor orgasm habits as youngsters. That is, these men feel pressure to hurry up and get an orgasm over with—really, how much time can a young man take in the bathroom without his family becoming suspicious? As well, young couple sex is also often hurried for fear of getting caught. So if the "hurry up and orgasm" technique is all a man knows, that is how he will perform as an adult.
The second reason would be nerves. First time jitters have caused all of our stomachs to flip. The third (and more difficult to prove scientifically) reason is evolution. Some scientists theorize that in order for men to spread as much sperm as possible it was necessary for him to get in and get out quickly.
The good news is P.E. is very treatable. The biggest obstacle a man has to overcome with P.E. is his ego. Being ashamed and trying to self-medicate by researching on the internet or in books will mostly like lead to disappointing results.
The first step in proactively dealing with P.E. is letting go of ego, opening up and getting professional help.
Second is to decide if your P.E. is a minor or severe case. A mild form of P.E. would be if you can last five minutes and would like it to be more like ten minutes. Here, it is unlikely you will need professional help. Simply slow down your lovemaking process and when you are close to climaxing, use the "distraction technique." For example, when you are close, think very hard about something totally unconnected with sex, like sports, or pinch your arm or thigh hard.
For more severe cases the "Masters and Johnson Method" has been the cure for many. This method can only work if both partners are willing to cooperate. It is based on a special "penis grip" developed by Masters and Johnson. When this finger-grip is applied, it stops the desire to climax. Lots and lots of patience is the key to this method working as it takes a period of time before a couple can re-train the man to last longer.
Also, new medications have hit the market that help men with their control. Unfortunatly, some side effects may arise. The bottom line is P.E. can be an embarrassing condition. Being proactive now can save you a lot of heartache later.
Dr. Trina Read has a doctorate in human sexuality. Dr. Read is also an international speaker and offers a free sex audio tip weekly on her website www.trinaread.com/t-sextips.